The Elves always steal the show. Happy Birthday zee113

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Title: The Elves Always Steal the Show.
Author: gattodoro
Banner: silvan_lady
Rating: R
Pairing: Vigorli
Word Count: 495
Disclaimer: If you believe anything in the slash_cave is real, then you are crazier than us, and that’s saying something!
Note: For the lovely zee113 on her birthday on Saturday!



Text messages between two of our favourite actors... maybe!



OB to VM:
Hey Vig, Guess where I am? Only Stone Street Studios on Soundstage K where we first ... well, you know *blushes*. But to get to the point Legolas is baaaack baby. The wig is on, the ears are on, the contacts are in (much more comfortable this time, thank God) and - YES! - the costume still fits. Tell Dom he can take back what he said about me getting porky.

VM to OB:
I believe that what he actually said was that you were getting porked, whatever that means *tongue-in-cheek*. Do the leggings still hug your thighs like a lover’s caress?

Wouldn’t you like to know! Actually I have a whole new costume and if I say so myself, Leggy looks smoking hot and seriously cool. Think lots of tight leather, if you know what I mean?

:-O I think I need photographic evidence, just for research purposes, you understand?

That can be arranged. Do you want an up the crotch shot?

How uncouth! Yes please! :-)

That’s my pervy Ranger. It feels kind of strange to be strapping on the knives and the bow and not have you ogling my arse.

Feeling kind of weird not to be there to ogle it. Wish the Professor had thought to put Aragorn into The Hobbit, but, even if he had, I don’t think even the miracle workers at Weta could de-age me enough to look plausible.

Even baby-faced Elves need a bit of foundation these days, not that I’ll admit that to Elijah. It’s not the years, it’s the mileage and the very best part of fourteen years hanging with a sex-maniac god like you means a LOT of mileage.

You say the nicest things. Is it my fault that I find you irresistible?

Sweet talking bastard. Probably not, but I can’t debate that now, I have to go practice riding a barrel, PJ has banned me from breaking any ribs this time.

As long as that’s all that you are riding! *growls possessively*

This Elf will not be fraternising with any Dwarves, however tall and sexy they may be in Real Life. (Don’t worry, they are all shagging each other; Ian is very happy with his matchmaking and voyeurism rights.) I will be amusing myself with my right hand and the dildo I modelled on your dick until I get home.

Ah, so that’s how I got Plaster of Paris in my pubes.

Yeah, sorry about that, but you were asleep and it seemed a shame to waste a good hard on. It was in a good cause.

I’ll give you that. Off you run then prissy Elf, go and be luminous and try not to fall over your own feet.

Damn cheek! I’ll be super smooth, well; I will be once the stunt guys do their stuff. Everybody knows that Leggy has to steal the show.

Leggy steals everything; he started with my moisturiser and finished with my heart. <3

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Thanks, birthdays are a great excuse to dust off the cobbwebbs and wield the blue pen!