A State of Flux ~ Part 02

[slash_cave]

Title: A State of Flux ~ Part 02
Authorssilvan_lady and gattodoro
Rating: NC17
Pairing: Slash Cave Regulars
Word Count: 1,685
Warning: The usual - expect craziness and blue pen so stay away from hot liquids, sharp objects etc while reading.
Authors' Note: Wishing you all a very Happy New Year from the Slash Cave!

A State of Flux ~ Part 02


The next morning, most of the boys were sleepy and sated and not at all keen on getting out of bed, but Eric had other ideas. Specifically he had a time-travelling car to build and an Eric on a mission was not to be denied (except by the very foolish or by a very brave person ... with access to a fallout shelter, preferably on another continent).

Viggo and Sean were sent out to source the parts from ‘Meadowhell'. They’d started out with Orlando as well but they’d lost him in a clothes shop quite early on (It was the post Boxing Day sale after all!). Halfords and remnants from the Maplins closing down sale proved very useful, but sadly, the ‘Mr Fusion’ home energy reactor eluded them. In a fit of inspiration (or, possibly, desperation) Viggo mused that it should be possible to construct one out of a spice grinder, an industrial torch and a couple of cable ties since radiation leaks were likely to be the least of Eric’s problems. Sean agreed, but Sean would have agreed to anything as he had a football match to get to. Viggo decided to go along too - it had to be a more cultural experience than Ann Summers even if they did have a half-price sale on bondage gear. Shamefully they left Orlando to fend for himself, but they (rightly) figured that he could out pout and out run any number of crazed bargain hunters.



Meanwhile Karl, who had bluntly refused to go to a shopping centre without an armoured vehicle and a flame thrower, was busy buying oxygen chambers in bulk from BOC thanks to the magic credit card. Needless to say he didn’t bother to read the safety data sheet which was unfortunate - not that Eric ever objected to a good bang - because the Sheffield Hallam cricket team probably preferred their pavilion in one piece.

At this point ‘they’ woke up, took one look at the trail of destruction and devastation the boys had left behind them, and promptly zapped the lot of them back to Slash HQ: the North had suffered enough!

Later that week….

The rebuilding of the engine for the DeLorean was, in Sean’s opinion at least, progressing far too quickly. In spite of the fact that Eric was using only a die-cast model and blueprints downloaded from a Back to the Future fansite for guidance, he reported that the work was almost complete.



Sean sidled up to Karl late in the afternoon of New Year’s Eve, and nudged him gently.

“Ahem,” he muttered under his breath, and then repeated it a little louder as Karl was apparently mesmerised by the sight of Eric’s shapely rear and firm thighs. The rest of Eric was concealed in the car as he was, yet again, burrowed in between some interesting-looking pipes and twists of red and blue wire in the rear of the DeLorean.

“Yeah...?” Karl asked without lifting his gaze from the flexing muscles.

“Plutonium, lad, plutonium. You can’t buy it in bluidy Tesco, you know! And I’m not too keen on robbing a nuclear waste transport. Where are we going to get the fuel?”

“Oh that?” Karl finally dragged his eyes away from Eric and turned towards Sean. “Eric wanted to remotely re-programme the sludge cleaning robots at Sellafield to bring some nuclear waste to the Slash Cave, however, given the extent of the roadworks on the M6 at the moment it would take far too long for them to reach London. But it doesn’t matter; Orlando had a much better idea, which I happen to agree with.” He did utter the last statement with a certain amount of incredulity in his voice, as though surprised to find that Orlando could actually come up with a good idea now and again that didn’t involve interior decorating, clothes or motorcycles.

“And what was that?” Sean asked warily.

“Ask Captain Jack,” said Karl. “He can usually lay his hands on most things.”

Sean was about to protest that Orlando’s idea couldn’t possibly be useful, simply by virtue of the fact that it was Orlando’s idea, when he stopped and closed his mouth with a snap.

“Exactly,” said Karl triumphantly. “It sounds like it might just work, doesn’t it?”

In fact, Captain Jack was up to the task, and when presented with the problem, he grinned widely and patted Orlando on the bottom. “Don’t you worry boyo; I can do better than plutonium.” (He’d been back to Cardiff for Christmas and the Welsh phrases tripped off his tongue far too readily.)

“But will it power the DeLorean?” Orlando asked. Captain Jack’s idea of ‘better’ was open to question and he didn’t want to see Eric disappointed. A disappointed Eric was a bad-tempered Eric, and that was verging on downright dangerous. Orlando liked living in the Slash Cave, he didn’t want to see it damaged. Captain Jack just raised an eyebrow, winked and vanished in a swirl of his great coat.

Orlando wondered if they would see him again any time soon as he knew that Jack was inclined to be distracted. That was one of the problems with being omnisexual, everyone and everything was a potential partner and he wasn’t known for his restraint. However, this time he was as good as his word, or else he hadn’t found anything more attractive than the inhabitants of the Slash Cave, (perfectly understandable in our opinion) and he returned on New Year’s Day with a glass canister which burbled and glowed gently. The silvery, viscous fluid inside appeared to generate internal gases which floated to the surface as rainbow coloured bubbles and burst with a gentle sigh every few minutes.

“Is it safe?” Sean asked dubiously.

“If you were a fertile inhabitant of the third planet around the oldest star in the nearest pillar of the Eagle Nebula, no. Because by now, you would already be pregnant with something like a dozen offspring with a hundred legs,” Jack paused, “or is it a hundred offspring with a dozen legs? No matter, I’ve never stayed around long enough to watch them give birth. However, as you are a simple bi-ped and a mere male and Silv won’t allow mpreg anyway, you are quite safe.”

Sean went pale and took a step back, ignoring the fact that he thought being described as simple seemed a bit unkind. “Then that... that stuff is...?”

“It is perfect for what you want. And as close to ₉₄Pu as you will find anywhere in the known universe.” Jack shrugged. “It’s free, the inhabitants are fond of copulating, and even better..." He paused for dramatic effect. (He liked doing that.) “... it comes in pints!”

Some time - and a lot of rude language - later Eric declared he was finished. “If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits 88 miles per hour... you're gonna see some serious shit.”

“Calculations? Since when could you do mathematics, Eric? Anyway, the speedo on this car only goes up to 85.” Trust Sean to notice that inconvenient detail.

“That’s just a ruse to fool any traffic cops. There is a stupid theory that Marty McFly could never have got this baby up to the required speed in the Twin Pines Mall, but that’s just rubbish.”

“I think that’s the basic laws of physics, Eric…”

“Phooey to real world physics, this is the Slash_Cave universe, different rules apply.”

“True, very true.” Sean spared a glance upwards towards the blue pen people. It contained more than a hint of mute appeal. Could they not put a stop to this nonsense?

They could: but they won’t. They are having far too much fun.

Sean wandered off in search of a nice cup of tea; He generally found this was the best response to Eric’s ridiculous constructions. Maybe he’d have a nice toasted teacake too. Or a buttery crumpet, mmmmm.

“Ooh, crumpets! Excellent idea,” said the wielders of the blue pen.

They were so diverted by the thought of toasty goodness that they lost their grip on the blue pen which rolled off the theoretical desk, bounced off the invisible fourth wall and dropped neatly into the footwell of the DeLorean. They failed to notice this, thanks to their enthusiasm for nice buns!

Meanwhile Karl and Eric had boarded… each other. But once they were finished rubbing each other up the right way they got themselves seated in the Slash_Cave modified DeLorean and were running through a, not particularly thorough, checklist.

“Okay. Time circuit's on. Flux capacitor, fluxing. Engine running. All right.”

And they were off.

The car accelerated, somewhat lumpily and Karl had to take a firm hold of the ‘oh shit’ handle above the passenger side door. When that didn’t help, he took an even firmer grip on Eric’s bulging thigh with his other hand. That didn’t help either. “Err, Eric, aren’t we going to run out of road?”

“Relax! Where we are going, we don’t need roads!” yelled Eric triumphantly, a manic gleam in his eyes and a broad grin on his face.

There was a flash of light followed by three sonic booms that rattled the crockery in the Slash Cave and the DeLorean disappeared in a puff of improbability.

It works! It works!

“What was that?” asked Gatty; reluctantly dragging her attention away from Sean’s baked goods.

“Don’t worry, it’s just Eric test driving his new toy,” said Silv, who is used to men and motors, “he probably can’t get into too much mischief before bedtime.”

“I wouldn’t be too sure of that,” said Gatty nervously - she had just realised that the magic blue pen was missing.

Oh well, there went the space-time continuum… it had been fun while it lasted.



To be continued (?)

Comments

[artemisallen]

As previously suggested this cannot possibly end well. Especially since the 'blue pen' has disappeared into the ether.
Will we ever see Karl and Eric again?
Will the Slash Cave be able to function without them?
Will this be continued soon?

Remember... I know where the knives and clingfilm are and I'm not afraid to use them!

[slash_cave]

Well those are all pertinent questions. Very.

And the answer is... we're not telling.

But we have to agree, loss of the blue pen is VERY serious! O_O

P.S. I've hidden the clingfilm!

[laura_iskra]

omg what will happen with the magic blue pen missing??

loved the story of the impossibility to reach the desired 88mph, people calculate the most strange things :p

what will happen to eric and karl? where, no when are they???

[silvan_lady]

Life without the blue pen is beyond our control!

WE really don't know what will happen, but that will probably depend on who picks it up! *cackles*

Where/when are Eric n' Karl? Who knows? But as long as there is a horizontal surface nearby we're sure they will be fine. We hope...

[kittyrefuge]

Where...which time did they go??

I can only hope Eric and Karl will be sensible enough not to change the past (if they went back to the past...?).

I think it's about the time to find the magic blue pen and complete their journey.
(Because this episode is fantastic!)

Thanks for helping me to find this. *hugs*

[slash_cave]

If you see Karl 'n 'Eric, do please let us know.

Normally we'd use the magic blue pen to find them, but as we can't find the pen without finding them, we are at something of an impasse.

The next alternative is to send Sean out to look, but he has no sense of direction (and won't ask for directions) ... and Viggo says that Orlando can't be spared for a search , which is perfectly understandable as he is impaled on Viggo's cock, LOL.

So glad that you enjoyed our little slice of nonsense.