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slash_cave
Title: The Elves Always Steal the Show.
Author:
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silvan_ladyRating: R
Pairing: Vigorli
Word Count: 495
Disclaimer: If you believe anything in the
slash_cave is real, then you are crazier than us, and that’s saying something!Note: For the lovely
zee113 on her birthday on Saturday!Text messages between two of our favourite actors... maybe!
OB to VM:
Hey Vig, Guess where I am? Only Stone Street Studios on Soundstage K where we first ... well, you know *blushes*. But to get to the point Legolas is baaaack baby. The wig is on, the ears are on, the contacts are in (much more comfortable this time, thank God) and - YES! - the costume still fits. Tell Dom he can take back what he said about me getting porky.
VM to OB:
I believe that what he actually said was that you were getting porked, whatever that means *tongue-in-cheek*. Do the leggings still hug your thighs like a lover’s caress?
Wouldn’t you like to know! Actually I have a whole new costume and if I say so myself, Leggy looks smoking hot and seriously cool. Think lots of tight leather, if you know what I mean?
:-O I think I need photographic evidence, just for research purposes, you understand?
That can be arranged. Do you want an up the crotch shot?
How uncouth! Yes please! :-)
That’s my pervy Ranger. It feels kind of strange to be strapping on the knives and the bow and not have you ogling my arse.
Feeling kind of weird not to be there to ogle it. Wish the Professor had thought to put Aragorn into The Hobbit, but, even if he had, I don’t think even the miracle workers at Weta could de-age me enough to look plausible.
Even baby-faced Elves need a bit of foundation these days, not that I’ll admit that to Elijah. It’s not the years, it’s the mileage and the very best part of fourteen years hanging with a sex-
You say the nicest things. Is it my fault that I find you irresistible?
Sweet talking bastard. Probably not, but I can’t debate that now, I have to go practice riding a barrel, PJ has banned me from breaking any ribs this time.
As long as that’s all that you are riding! *growls possessively*
This Elf will not be fraternising with any Dwarves, however tall and sexy they may be in Real Life. (Don’t worry, they are all shagging each other; Ian is very happy with his matchmaking and voyeurism rights.) I will be amusing myself with my right hand and the dildo I modelled on your dick until I get home.
Ah, so that’s how I got Plaster of Paris in my pubes.
Yeah, sorry about that, but you were asleep and it seemed a shame to waste a good hard on. It was in a good cause.
I’ll give you that. Off you run then prissy Elf, go and be luminous and try not to fall over your own feet.
Damn cheek! I’ll be super smooth, well; I will be once the stunt guys do their stuff. Everybody knows that Leggy has to steal the show.
Leggy steals everything; he started with my moisturiser and finished with my heart. <3
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Date: 2013-08-02 10:17 pm (UTC)Lovely my dear!
Always nice to get a peek behind the scenes!
*hugs*
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Date: 2013-08-03 09:57 am (UTC)So now the gossip round the White House is that Viggo Mortensen has Plaster of Paris in his pubes???? hahahaha. and I bet that certain Senator or whoever that's trying to run for Mayor of New York would be furiously searching for 'ELVES' in Google.
oh sporfles...
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Date: 2013-08-13 09:57 pm (UTC)I have a friend who works there, I may have to have a word...
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Date: 2013-08-03 08:56 pm (UTC)Awwww, romance is not yet dead! *chortles*
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Date: 2013-08-04 01:16 am (UTC)Aragorn really used moisturizer? He didn't look it or did he? =D But of course Leggy steals everything! How come they can be so sweet even when horny? =D
(Apparently I can't stop grinning like a loon.)
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Date: 2013-08-13 10:00 pm (UTC)Thanks!
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Date: 2013-08-04 07:47 pm (UTC)Compliments.
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Date: 2016-03-06 11:01 am (UTC)(And I'm sure Orlando could make a fortune by selling dildos modelled after our Ranger... if the movie business gets boring I see an alternative career waiting for him :D )
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Date: 2016-03-07 12:42 am (UTC)Fun and profit - is there any better combination?
And if the dildo-line is successful, you could think about adding that to the shop: http://elitedaily.com/news/world/edible-anus-chocolate-butthole-mold/932939/
;)
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Date: 2016-03-07 09:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-03-07 01:23 pm (UTC)Just imagine how they must have stumbled over this idea!
~ *preps partner* "hm...you know what love? I think we could make serious money with your butt..." *looks around* *has an idea* "hang on a sec, I think...." *runs off to the kitchen to melt some chocolate* "riiiight... spread those lovely cheeks for me, sweetie....and stick your butt a bit more in the air..." *pours chocolate* "mhhhhhm....yeah....yeah I think that could work!" ~
:D