MOME Award Fic

[slash_cave]

Title: Award...
Authors: gattodoro & silvan_lady
Inhabitants: Viggo/Sean/Orlando; Eric/Karl/Hugh
Rating: R
Warning: Not crack- well not entirely :)
Word Count: 1,342
Authors' Note: Inspired by the MOME Award for Another Slash Essential, which was a lovely surprise, and posted in celebration of our first slash_cave anniversary which is on the 1st of January!


"Hey! Look what we've got!" 

The inhabitants of the Slash Cave were not normally inclined to get up early in the morning, in fact, they often missed morning completely (the lack of windows was a contributing factor, but excessive activity the night before was the most common reason), however, Orlando's arrival at the entrance carrying what looked like a picture frame, was sufficiently unusual to at least rouse them from their state of slumber.  At least, Sean and Viggo were aroused but that's another story. 

The pile of blankets that normally concealed Eric 'n' Karl did move but the noises from underneath could have been interpreted as anything from a sleepy grunt of acknowledgement to Karl being squashed by Eric in his first shag of the day.  Hugh claimed that they fucked in their sleep and Orlando had never managed to prove otherwise, so the matter remained unresolved.

Orlando stopped and frowned. (He very nearly pouted but really, it was too early in the day for that!) He had obviously anticipated a somewhat more enthusiastic reception.

"Viggo?" he said somewhat plaintively.  "This concerns you too. Can you wake up for a minute?"

Sean's arm lifted, the blankets moved and a shaggy head appeared. "Come back to bed and tell us. It's friggin' cold. I don't see why ‘they’ have to write us as cold just because ‘they’ are cold!"

The residents of the Slash cave cast their eyes upwards at the spot in the roof where they generally agreed that 'they' lived.  There was a guilty intake of breath from above, a wave of a blue slash pen, and the temperature improved noticeably.

Sean beamed. "Well done Vig.  Now Orlando lad, come back to bed and tell us about your picture."

"It's not a picture."

Orlando dragged the heavy frame across the floor of the cave, and then recalling the success of Viggo's ruse, looked upwards and said pointedly, "It's an award and I don't see why the frame has to be so heavy!"

Almost instantly the ornate wood shrunk to simple teak strips.

"Thank you," he said wondering if he could get away with asking for a four-poster bed as well.  He couldn't as it so happens because there was no way Gatty or Silv were going to allow a bed with curtains in their Slash Cave.

He carried the frame to the foot of the gigantic blanket covered platform that was often referred to as the shagging shelf and propped it up. Sean snatched back a foot just before he lost a couple of toes.

"MOME award," he read. "Another Slash Essential. What's all that about then?"

Orlando grinned and Viggo pulled the bed covers up to his chin as though trying to hide.

"Tell me that's not what I think it is," he groaned. "Is nothing sacred?"

Orlando shrugged. "You know that pair of perves. There was no way they were going to be able to ignore the fact that you had chocolate sauce, was there?"

Viggo looked resigned.  "Have to admit it was pretty irresistible."

Orlando looked smug. "And that I was irresistibly pretty!"

A soft squishy shape was launched in his direction from the Eric 'n' Karl mound.

"Ow, gimme back my teddy!" Eric growled. Karl chuckled wrapping his arms around Eric. "No, I have MY teddy right here and you don't need yours!"

This wasn’t true. Admittedly Eric could cope without Teddy when he was shagging Karl through the mattress (or vice versa), but since this didn’t happen 24-7 (despite rumours to the contrary), Orlando wisely retrieved the stuffed animal before jumping back into bed and demanding a stuffing of his own. A whiny Eric was a distracted Eric and that was likely to end with material damage to the structure of the Slash Cave.

“I can’t”, wailed Sean, who was a bit of a big girl’s blouse on occasion, “not when I know that they are watching and likely recording our activities for posterity. What would me Mam say if she found out?”

“She’d probably give us points out of ten,” replied Viggo, who had met Sean’s mother and had a fair idea that Mrs Bean was no shrinking violet. “And honestly, call yourself an actor and you can’t perform for an audience!”

“Just because you are a bloody exhibitionist...,” grumbled Sean, still clinging tightly to the duvet (yes, it was a blanket earlier, but we’ve had an upgrade!).

“Suit yourself,” said Orlando, making himself comfortable, i.e. spreading his legs and reaching for the lube. “It’s only Silv up there at the moment and she’s having to keep her Mother distracted so she won’t be giving us her full attention.”

“Oh, where’s Gatty?” Viggo asked disinterestedly. (He was nibbling on Orlando’s delectable throat, which was infinitely more worthy of his attention.)

“Well it’s Christmas Eve, isn’t it, so obviously the lights have fused on the tree - it’s traditional -  so she’s had to brave the last minute shoppers to try to find some LED ones,” Orlando explained, between whimpering and nibbling Viggo’s ears.

“Poor Gatty!” Sean remembered the days of having to buy Christmas presents for his wives all too well. The horror! “Hang on, where’s Hugh? Don’t tell me she took him out with her? That can only end in tears.”

At the mention of Hugh’s name, a muffled salutation issued from the Eric ‘n’ Karl mound, which on closer inspection proved to be somewhat larger than usual. Judging by the other noises being produced it was easy to guess what was going on under the covers. It was a very good thing that the floor had been specially reinforced.

It was at about this point that Sean realised that he was being, as his father would say, a right wazzock, and the ‘sacred arse’ went into action.

Some time later ….

“Well, that was what I call a jolly decent Christmas shag,” Orlando observed from his position sprawled naked on a fur rug in front of a roaring fire. The Slash Cave had previously featured neither of these items, but Gatty had managed to snap up the last box of lights at half price and had time to nip to the pub for a glass (or two) of wine, so she was feeling generous with the magic blue pen … and who wouldn’t appreciate the sight of a naked, post-coital, Orlando with his golden skin glistening in the firelight?

“Hrrmphhhh” was the collective response from the other five - once again the skinny-arsed Elf had beaten them all for stamina.

Undeterred by the muted reception, Orlando continued to chirp away brightly. “So who’s up for a mince pie, or some eggnog, whatever the hell that is, or just a nice tot of whisky while we tell ghost stories by the fire?”

The mention of whisky perked Sean and Viggo up, while Karl’s attention was drawn to the story-telling idea. The last time they’d done that, Eric had been so spooked he’d clung to Karl all night; Karl liked that.

“Hang on, shouldn’t we hang up this Award first, before somebody trips over it?” asked Hugh through slightly swollen lips (the result of on over-enthusiastic blow job).

“Oh yeah, where shall we put it?”

“It’s a prestigious award, so it needs to be somewhere prominent,” opined Sean.

“Sure, like the bathroom,” suggested Eric. (He wasn’t trying to be rude - he happened to like the bathroom.)

Viggo sniggered, “No dummy, there is only one place it can possibly go.”

“And where is that?”

“D’uh, over the bed!”

And that’s where it went, though not without the usual squabbles over whose was the biggest (drill bit), proper insertion (of rawlplugs), depth of penetration (all the way) and whether to bang or screw (depends on the tool). And it ended up more, or less, straight, unlike the inhabitants of the Slash Cave... but very well-hung like ALL the inhabitants!

After which, there was only one thing to do, being that they were already on the bed, but we’ll leave that to your imaginations.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year
dear Slash Cave Readers and thank you for voting for us!