slash_cave: (Gattodoro)
slash_cave ([personal profile] slash_cave) wrote2016-02-24 11:10 pm
Entry tags:

Bad Day Rescues - a new service from [livejournal.com profile] slash_cave inc

Poor [livejournal.com profile] silvan_lady was having a bad day at work and wanted some distraction. I may have got carried away, but it does seem we've hit upon an idea for a new business ... if the inhabitants of the [livejournal.com profile] slash_cave will agree to play along!


Do YOU need rescuing from callous colleagues, rotten relatives, nasty neighbours, workplace woes, transport tribulations or despicable domestic disorders?

Who are you going to call?

SLASHBUSTERS
!




Do you feel like this?

SLASHBUSTERS can help.

The plan (plan? hah!) is as follows: -

Eric will storm the building and trash anything that needs trashing, but especially hot desks (chopper just out of shot...)
 

Karl will shoot anyone who upsets him or you  (nearly everyone then
 

Sean will get anyone Karl misses (not that it will happen - he just wanted to wave around a big weapon )
 

Richard is warming up the helicopter (and has donned his version of a flying jacket) so that he can remove you from the building before Karl’n’Eric demolish it.

 

He’ll be winching down Orlando who is tooled up and ready to grab you (he looks very determined - don't mess with him). He will be putting on more leather/straps/buckles and chains before the rescue.


 


Once you are clear of the premises, Aidan will smoulder prettily while  'tidying up' after everyone so there are no witnesses (ripped shirt as standard).

 


Then  - hurrah! - all of our boys get changed into something more suitable so that they can whisk you away for an evening of debauchery.

 For example

 
or
 

or
 
(Eric does have a Tux but it is in for dry cleaning – there was an incident with Karl and a buffet table)
Or
 
(I think Mr Hiddleston was invited by[livejournal.com profile] bluegerl. He does look well in a Tux though so he can stay).


Once dressed, it will be time for 
 

Which results in the lads getting all touchy feely (especially Orlando)

 
 


That means the clothes have to come off…( oh dear, never mind)

 

  
 

 



 
Which inevitably  leads us to….



 





By which we hope you’ll feel like this
 

ext_59472: (M Slash-side Cuties)

[identity profile] silvan-lady.livejournal.com 2016-02-24 11:30 pm (UTC)(link)
You are of course beautifully bonkers, and I adore you to bits because that was exactly what I needed today!

A delightful distraction which improved my day and my mood immensely!

ext_122933: (Doom Karl)

[identity profile] gattodoro.livejournal.com 2016-02-25 04:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Guilty as charged ma'am, but my duty was clear and I'm glad I could help a little.

[identity profile] caseymochridh.livejournal.com 2016-02-25 12:40 am (UTC)(link)
Sounds absolutely fantabulous to me! But then, anything involving Orlando, Eric, Viggo, Karl, Sean, etc. sounds extremely sexy and entertaining. I look forward to the ensuing shenanigans!
ext_122933: (Slash Cave Gattodoro)

[identity profile] gattodoro.livejournal.com 2016-02-25 04:55 pm (UTC)(link)
I really think we are on to a winning business model here. Must work 'sexy and entertaining' into the mission statement. *G*
nverland: (Default)

[personal profile] nverland 2016-02-25 01:01 am (UTC)(link)
You are a wonderful woman. That should make anyone feel much better
ext_122933: (Slash Cave Gattodoro)

[identity profile] gattodoro.livejournal.com 2016-02-25 04:56 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't know about wonderful, but it I think I know my audience/market!

[identity profile] amruniel.livejournal.com 2016-02-25 01:37 am (UTC)(link)
Delightfully bonkers and exactly what's needed to brighten up a rotten day!

May I make reservations for the boys? I'll very probably need their services next Tuesday? :)
ext_122933: (Slash Cave Gattodoro)

[identity profile] gattodoro.livejournal.com 2016-02-25 04:58 pm (UTC)(link)
I've pencilled you in the diary. Any special requests - ground-to-air missiles, castrating a pompous colleague, slow strangulation of the bosses secretary?

[identity profile] amruniel.livejournal.com 2016-02-26 01:42 am (UTC)(link)
Missiles sound great. I wouldn't be adverse to a staged kidnapping of myself?
Otherwise gagging the extremely nerdy co-worker is definitely on my special requests list. Possibly a bit of torturing money out of the boss.

But in NO circumstance hurt the secretary ... which would be me since I seem to fill the "girl for everything" role... the downside of being the only female in the company, I guess ;)

[identity profile] laura-iskra.livejournal.com 2016-02-25 09:08 am (UTC)(link)
I didn't have a particularly bad day, but I'm feeling better nonetheless!

thanks for the drool puddles on my keyboard :p
ext_122933: (Slash Cave Gattodoro)

[identity profile] gattodoro.livejournal.com 2016-02-25 04:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Sorry about the keyboard - I'll send one of the lads along with a sponge.

[identity profile] alilacia.livejournal.com 2016-02-25 09:27 am (UTC)(link)
I like the sound of this new service!
ext_122933: (Slash Cave Gattodoro)

[identity profile] gattodoro.livejournal.com 2016-02-25 04:59 pm (UTC)(link)
I definitely think there is a niche market for this sort of thing, LOL.

[identity profile] bluegerl.livejournal.com 2016-02-25 10:37 am (UTC)(link)
YOU SAVED MY LIFE TODAY!!!!

I'm in the abbatoir being tortured by sadistic nurses and Drs who look like Boris Karloff!!! My leg has been opened my muscles ripped apart and my top leg replaced with a pretty pink ceramic gem of a hipjoint! Itslike a bloody biscuit factory down there in the basement.... jest keep em rollim' in! counted 41 recoverings when they wheeled me back.

I can tell you that Gatty and the Slashbusters have seriously dredged a horny grin from somewhere where it got lost in the depths of hell!

AND HIDDLES Hiddles ---aaahhh faints with bliss!!! oh He MUST inhabit the Slash Cave!!!! No better place!!!!

Am going to look at nothing else all day... on here, but my kine man is beeeg and strong and about six foot of fifty!!! He is just my style right now. Nice big armsand a solid chest to cry on!

He is returning this afternoon - screams with terror ----- geez Gatty I can't even shuffle to the loo. let alone giggle round London - Just you wait --oh I hooope! Cm'ere Karl!!! and that icon can just shut up!!!
Edited 2016-02-25 10:44 (UTC)
ext_122933: (Slash Cave Gattodoro)

[identity profile] gattodoro.livejournal.com 2016-02-25 05:04 pm (UTC)(link)
I was only thinking to myself that you were being hip - which is probably how Hiddles crept in. I am sorry that you are being so cruelly abused (wot no dishy doctor?!), but Karl is on his way (trying to blend in by driving a 2CV, not sure that's a good idea) and he has many uses for the sluice room...

Hiddles will come too, along with his Norse friend Thor, plenty of muscles there....
ext_225618: (Longing)

[identity profile] kittyrefuge.livejournal.com 2016-02-25 11:56 am (UTC)(link)
You have saved not only [livejournal.com profile] silvan_lady, but also brighten up my day!
Thank you. *hugs*
ext_122933: (Slash Cave Gattodoro)

[identity profile] gattodoro.livejournal.com 2016-02-25 05:04 pm (UTC)(link)
We are a caring, sharing bunch at the Slash Cave *G*

[identity profile] ireth06.livejournal.com 2016-02-25 12:31 pm (UTC)(link)
And here I was thinking that coming home from grocery shopping before the weather changed was a "happy moment"...

*is stunned into silence before drooling heavily*

Edit: You're nuts and I love you! Bring it on!
Edited 2016-02-25 12:34 (UTC)
ext_122933: (Slash Cave Gattodoro)

[identity profile] gattodoro.livejournal.com 2016-02-25 05:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh come on, you must have realised I was nuts by now?

And you need to have higher goals in life than getting home without getting wet. Start with flirting inappropriately with men half your age and see if you can work up to the Slash Cave level of debauchery. *G*

[identity profile] ireth06.livejournal.com 2016-02-25 05:52 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh yes, delightfully so! :)

I put in an order on "Ladies Night"... Does that count?
ext_122933: (Slash Cave Gattodoro)

[identity profile] gattodoro.livejournal.com 2016-02-25 06:04 pm (UTC)(link)
It is a start - now go get 'em Tiger!

[identity profile] krazykitten46.livejournal.com 2016-02-25 04:08 pm (UTC)(link)
OMG I want a bad day now just so I can call on them. *whimpers*
ext_122933: (Slash Cave Gattodoro)

[identity profile] gattodoro.livejournal.com 2016-02-25 05:10 pm (UTC)(link)
Don't wish that on yourself!

You don't necessarily have to be having a bad day to call on Slashbusters, but, in fairness, we have to prioritise those most in need and there are a lot of life irritants out there.

[identity profile] rifleman-s.livejournal.com 2016-02-25 09:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh I shall definitely be saving this post somewhere handy for "bad" days . . . it's fantastic!

"...there was an incident with Karl and a buffet table)"

Oh yes? Can we have details, please?? *grin*

Thanks so much!
ext_122933: (Slash Cave Gattodoro)

[identity profile] gattodoro.livejournal.com 2016-02-27 10:27 am (UTC)(link)
Do you think we should also offer a match day service?

[identity profile] rifleman-s.livejournal.com 2016-02-27 05:18 pm (UTC)(link)
Definitely!!!!

Lost 2-0 today . . . :(
ext_122933: (Sharpe)

[identity profile] gattodoro.livejournal.com 2016-02-28 10:00 am (UTC)(link)
Hmm, if only one of the lads had taken out the Rochdale goalie early doors.

Today I have asked Karl 'n' Eric to investigate ways of stopping Man City. Blowing up the team bus is a possibility though a trifle obvious!

[identity profile] rifleman-s.livejournal.com 2016-02-28 02:50 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm not sure Karl 'n' Eric are that bothered about "obvious" . . . but the boys in blue do seem unstoppable at the moment.

However, after all these years, nothing really surprises me any more; as long as I'm entertained it's all good - it's when they don't try it bothers me!

(Fearing the worst for Tuesday though - we play Burton who were promoted from League 2 this season and shot straight to the top of League 1 where they've remained ever since.)
ext_122933: (Liverpool)

[identity profile] gattodoro.livejournal.com 2016-02-28 09:04 pm (UTC)(link)
I wish you good luck and better form on Tuesday,

As for my boys - we didn't deserve to win today , but I could have done without ET and pens. Perhaps we should do away with the game and just go direct to the shoot out...

[identity profile] artemisallen.livejournal.com 2016-02-26 12:23 am (UTC)(link)
This is so brilliant!!!!!!!
Thank you very much for sharing it with us - the undeserving but adoring masses. :-))))
ext_122933: (Slash Cave Gattodoro)

[identity profile] gattodoro.livejournal.com 2016-02-27 10:30 am (UTC)(link)
I understand that the boys are particularly good at extractions ... as in extracting the target from family gatherings before they become unbearable. Do let me know when next you go North...

[identity profile] artemisallen.livejournal.com 2016-02-28 07:00 pm (UTC)(link)
LOL. I have to go North at Easter. I am working on an exit strategy but if that fails extraction by the boys would be wonderful. *g*
ext_122933: (Slash Cave Gattodoro)

[identity profile] gattodoro.livejournal.com 2016-02-28 09:06 pm (UTC)(link)
I have pencilled you into the diary *G*

[identity profile] artemisallen.livejournal.com 2016-02-28 09:23 pm (UTC)(link)
You have no idea how grateful I will be. :-)))))))

[identity profile] january-snow.livejournal.com 2016-02-27 07:41 pm (UTC)(link)
this is so great and what a lovely flashback to the olden Lotr days for me :) :) :)

thanks for sharing!
ext_122933: (Slash Cave Gattodoro)

[identity profile] gattodoro.livejournal.com 2016-02-28 09:56 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you. We'll never outgrow LOTR here in the Slash Cave.

[identity profile] doylebaby.livejournal.com 2016-02-28 08:50 pm (UTC)(link)
It does help brighten a day or two or more, I can vouch for that. *g*
ext_122933: (Slash Cave Gattodoro)

[identity profile] gattodoro.livejournal.com 2016-02-28 09:05 pm (UTC)(link)
Day improvement is what we are all about *G*

[identity profile] argentine65.livejournal.com 2016-02-29 07:23 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you for thinking about us and also for getting an answer to our troubles. Martha

[identity profile] woowoochow.livejournal.com 2016-03-01 03:55 pm (UTC)(link)
loved it