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Title: Sunblock

Author:     silvan_lady  & gattodoro

Pairing:     Orlando/Eric

Rating:     R

Wordcount: 365

Crossposted: [livejournal.com profile] switch_bottoms [livejournal.com profile] orlandoslash
Disclaimer:
This is a Slash_Cave crack fic, which started as a series of texts and has no basis is reality - blame our filthy minds and opposable thumbs.




Orlando lay baking on the sun lounger, determined to acquire an all over tan before he started filming. No make-up girl was going to rub quick tan down there!

Nope, rubbing 'down there' was Eric's job, and he was exceptionally good at it. Just thinking about his lover was making Orlando hard and he could almost imagine Eric's hand was right there, it felt so real...


A suddenly cold shock on his most tender part made him yelp and his eyes flew open to find Eric standing over him with an upturned bottle of sunblock.


"That's mine and you are NOT getting it sunburnt!"


Orlando's expression of shock turned quickly into a seductive smirk.


"I was just thinking about you,” he purred, shamelessly. “As I'm not going to get much of a tan with you blocking out the light, perhaps we should put that sunblock to another use?"


Eric unconsciously licked his lips as he watched a trickle of perspiration wind its way downwards like a possessive lover’s touch, moving inexorably from Orlando’s flat stomach toward the dark curls framing his sex.  He was greatly tempted to throw caution - and clothes - to the wind, but common sense prevailed. Barely.


"No way nature boy, that shit stings and rubs off way too quickly. Once was enough thanks, and coconut scented farts and a sore arse aren't my idea of a good time."


Orlando pouted - he was hot and horny and he wanted Eric to do something about it immediately, if not sooner.  Eric relented, as he was always going to, despite his misgivings about the potential for his love life to be captured for posterity on Google Earth. "Okay, but first I'm going to fetch the strawberry lube... and the aerosol cream!”


As Eric moved off at an impressive speed considering the heat, Orlando shifted himself and his towel onto the grass - the sun lounger was robust but painful experience had demonstrated that it couldn’t take the weight of two frisky men. He made himself comfortable and resumed languidly fisting his thickening erection while pondering the unexpected benefits of Eric’s sweet tooth. The man really would do anything for an English ‘cream tea’!


 

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